Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl

Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl
Colin 'Bomber' Harris vs. Himself

Emcee (Michael Palin):

Hello, good evening and welcome to the Ronald Reagan Memorial Bowl, here in the pretty little L.A. suburb of Hollywood, where we're about to go in all for wrestling, brought to you tonight, ladies and gentlemen, by the makers of Scum, the world's first ever combined hair oil, foot ointment, and salad dressing. And the makers of Titan, the novelty nuclear missile! You never know when it'll go off! Surprise your friends, amuse your enemies, start the party with a bang! Introducing, ladies and gentlemen, tonight, all the way from a mud-wrestling tour of the OPEC countries...in the red corner: Colin "Bomber" Harris!...and, ladies and gentlemen, in the blue corner...all the way from a mud-wrestling tour of the OPEC countries...Colin "Bomber" Harris!

Commentator (John Cleese):

Well, now, ladies and gentlemen, this is the first time that Colin "Bomber" Harris has met himself. A few formalities now, any moment now, we'll be ready for the start of Round One. There goes the bell! Colin moves to the middle of the ring there, he's looking for an opening, going for the handhold...

Colin "Bomber" Harris (Graham Chapman):

Augh!

Commentator:

He's got it! Into the headsqueeze...

Colin "Bomber" Harris:

Augh!

Commentator:

A headsqueeze there...

Colin "Bomber" Harris:

Augh!

Commentator:

A favorite...

Colin "Bomber" Harris:

Augh!

Commentator:

...a favorite move of Colin's at this opening stage...

Colin "Bomber" Harris:

Augh!

Commentator:

...flying there...

Colin "Bomber" Harris:

Augh!

Commentator:

...and already Colin is...

Colin "Bomber" Harris:

Augh!

Commentator:

...working on that weak left knee of his!

Colin "Bomber" Harris:

Augh!

Commentator:

A half nelson...a half nelson and a Philadelphia Half-Lotus and Colin bit himself on purpose there, and he has been given a public warning by the referee, and Colin did not like that one little bit! Forearm...

Colin "Bomber" Harris:

Augh!

Commentator:

Double overhead nostril...

Colin "Bomber" Harris:

Augh!

Commentator:

...back-kick and into the, ah, Boston crayfish, no, it's a crawlfish, or is it a longestine, no, it's a longestine! A lovely move there! He's caught himself by surprise and that is it, the first fall to Colin "Bomber" Harris! Swell! A lovely move there! And Colin must be pretty pleased with himself having caught himself out with that one! And a forearm chop. A strawberry whip, a vanilla whip, a chocolate whip...there it is, Colin's most famous hold: the one-neck-over-shoulder-Gerry Ford and Colin's in real trouble! He's just made it to the rope...just a little lucky there...

Colin "Bomber" Harris:

Augh!

Commentator:

...and there it is, a double Eydie Gourmet, should be able to twist out of this...and he does...but he's looking pretty groggy...and I think he's caught himself there with two forearm smashes, and that is it!. Colin "Bomber" Harris has knocked himself out and so he is the winner and he goes on next week to meet himself in the final!

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